Make it clear that your decision to divorce is final – Remember, whether or not your spouse agrees with your decision to divorce is not an issue. In fact, being able to explain your decision to others without embarrassment will help them accept your decision to divorce. This is not the purpose of your talk.Ī good guide for a “good explanation” of why you want a divorce is that it is one your spouse will feel comfortable repeating to friends and family. Too much detail – particular incidents, arguments, and so on – increases the likelihood that you will end up having the same arguments all over again. You need to keep your reasons simple, straightforward and to the point. Stick to your guns – to telling your spouse you want a divorce.Įxplain why you want a divorce – Before telling your spouse you want a divorce, sum up the key reasons you want a divorce. In short, don’t be intimidated or confused by how your spouse reacts. It is unrealistic to expect immediate understanding and acceptance at this stage.There are solid reasons why it is the right decision. Reaching your decision to divorce has been a long and difficult process.The day after that, something different again as the reality of divorce sinks in. Tomorrow, they will feel something different. Remember, their reaction is spontaneous, not the result of thought or reflection. Do not become angry, defensive or apologetic. Sympathize with their reaction but do not react to it. Whether you face fireworks, tears or numb disbelief, remain calm and in control. What’s more important – and within your control – is how you react to their reaction, whatever it is. This is a new emotional situation, for both of you. How exactly will they react? Accept that there’s really no way to know. Even if they have had their suspicions, hearing the actual words – “ I want a divorce” – will make divorce very real, very suddenly. Their reaction – First of all, don’t expect your spouse to be anything less than shocked when you tell them you want a divorce. At some point the other has to be told that the marriage is at an end.īut what exactly is the best way of telling your spouse, “I want a divorce?”, and what should you expect? If you and your spouse are entering into a Mediation process, and would like to do this collaboratively, Debbie can work with both of you together to get your financial disclosure forms completed.By Sue Cook, Family Therapist, of Family TLC, A common and troubling question is, “How do I tell my spouse I want a divorce?” It’s a common question because in most cases the decision to divorce or separate is made by one spouse alone. This information allows your Divorce team to work efficiently and effectively on your behalf, negotiating the best possible settlement for you. Working with Debbie Shawn and Divorce Matters will give you the tools to locate and organize your financial documents and complete these forms. This is one of the areas that causes great difficulty for many people because financial disclosure forms are complicated.Īt a time that people are already feeling vulnerable and emotionally depleted by the breakdown of their marriage, they are expected to “miraculously” learn about assets, liabilities, investments, debts, budgets, etc. And your spouse will have to complete the identical paperwork. It is one of the first things that your Divorce team will be asking you to complete. Remember, not wasting time equals saving money.įinancial disclosure is required so that your Divorce team can provide you with the advice you need about child support, spousal support, and property issues. Debbie knows that the more organized you are, the faster you can locate the necessary information, the easier you will make it for your Divorce team.Īnd the added benefit – you and your Divorce team will not be wasting time searching through drawers and shoe boxes to find the paperwork you need. Divorce Matters will also help clients learn new skills that will be invaluable both during this process, and moving forward in their new life situations. Debbie Shawn, founder of Divorce Matters has created Checklists and Information Modules which will be useful tools for clients who do not know where to begin. Separation and Divorce definitely involves a lot of paperwork. A Divorce Organizer will help you focus on all of this and more. You need a system to help you highlight the issues that are important to you, to keep track of what your Divorce team needs from you, and to meet whatever deadlines you may have. Separation and Divorce is a very stressful time.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |